A MOTHER, A SISTER, A DAUGHTER…A SON, A BROTHER, A FATHER
- unknown
- May 14, 2014
- 3 min read
Several years ago when my parents decided to move from Texas to Georgia, it was so that my wife, our children and I could assist my father with some of the caretaking of my mother, who’s health had been slowly failing for some years. Mom’s congestive heart failure and other ailments meant that she needed supplemental oxygen pretty much round the clock and lots of assistance with the dispensing of critical medications. Several factors went into the various logistical components of the move, not the least of which was, “How are we going to transport Mom to the new home in Georgia?”
We decided that my brother Steve and our dad would drive the family car along with the moving van and that I would drive Mom separately (with all the accompanying oxygen canisters, equipment, walker and personal items.) After the moving van was completely packed, the successful trip to Georgia began with my realization that our lives, and our relationships as family members, had changed forever.
I had visited Mom & Dad through the years when Mom had been in the hospital for one thing or the other. I had gotten used to helping Mom with her increase in needs. But once that door closed shut and we were on the highway leaving their long-time home in Texas, embarking on the new phase in life to a new home in a new part of the country, I looked over at Mom and she smiled back at me in a way I had never experienced. Her’s was the face of a little girl gazing with gratitude toward a benevolent father. It dawned on me that the heart-felt love our father and mother expressed for their sons and the formation they gave was the preparation culminating at this very moment.
We enjoyed having Mom with us for another eight blessed years along with numerous celebrations and family events including Mom & Dad’s 50th wedding anniversary. There were many trips to doctor’s appointments or other errands too. During one such trip I recognized a certain “fullness” to a relationship an adult child might have with an elderly parent (or even other relationship variations.) At times I was like a father to my mother…and at times I was like a brother to my mother…and I was certainly always her son. And it all relates to the 4th Commandment which calls us to “Honor your father and your mother.”
I had just arrived at Mom & Dad’s house to pick up Mom for a cardiologist appointment. Helping her to the car and into the seat I was, once again, reminded that what I was doing was like that of a father for a child. On the way to her appointment, Mom and I spoke about many issues of the day, solving most of the world’s problems of course (your welcome.) And just as I was realizing that I was as brother visiting with a sister…Mom would look over to the speedometer of the car and exclaim, in a way only a mother could express, “TOMMY, YOU’RE DRIVING TOO FAST!” And there’s Mom again, performing her role flawlessly.
…A Mother, a Sister, a Daughter…
…A Son, a Brother, a Father…
Mom has gone to be with the Lord a few years now and I’ve now reflected on these times, and how relationships develop between parents and children (or even other meaningful relationships). I have sinfully failed so many times along the way and have confessed those sins and asked my parents and the Good Lord for forgiveness. However, taking the lead when called upon, and serving from deep down in ones’ heart with gratitude and humility has led to more joy than I ever could have imagined and I recommend further discernment.
Peace,
Deacon Tom Gotschall, The Deacon Dad at:
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